Trust at the heart of a trauma-sensitive culture.
- aleksandrachawda
- Sep 19, 2021
- 8 min read
100% of our population has been traumatized by the pandemic.
Every single one of us.
The way each person reacts & processes the experience varies, but the society's collective wellbeing has forever been impacted. In the hardest moments, some will suppress their trauma, move on, and deny its destructive impact, just like they deny Covid. Others' pandemic trauma will be compounded with multigenerational & cultural trauma, leaving them drained, burned out and broken. These were the most vulnerable populations in the first place.
Some will express their trauma with behaviors. It is no coincidence that misbehaviors in schools have increased. We shouldn't be shocked that violence and aggression has skyrocketed. “While one in three white women report having experienced domestic violence [during the pandemic], the rates of abuse increased dramatically to about 50% and higher for those marginalized by race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, citizenship status, and cognitive physical ability ( Sussman)."
And the children are watching and learning.
We all shake our heads in disbelief upon skimming the news. How can people murder over a slice of pizza? Crazy world we live in. Why are people destroying whole groceries stores and getting kicked off of planes over masks? Trashy. We are so quick to judge, but hint: It's not over masks, and no matter how delicious the pizza, it's not over the pizza either.
It's all of the emotional triggers and buttons that have been buried, compounded with pandemic trauma, financial difficulties, stress, loss and pain. And here we are.
Those same people (hint: all of us) already go into the workplace at our mental and emotional capacity, and we are asked to serve our community, to pour from empty cups. Mental health hashtags and PD trainings don't suffice if we compound the trauma, and don't know how to dig deeper.
Advising people to take bubble baths, carve out "me" time is simply a bandaid. Those quick fixes are a great start if you can already recognize your stressors, triggers, responses, and anticipate them. Although lovely, bubble baths alone do very little in the long term healing process. If we really want to prioritize SEL and hop on the "trauma-informed" train, it's time to admit it's not a trend, we need to heal as a society, instead of compounding each other's trauma.
The pandemic is in no way over, and the wave of effects is coming. When we hurry to return back to "normal" and are at our emotional brink, we must remember that "as hard as the initial trauma is, it's the aftermath that destroys people."The real work is just beginning. 5 million Americans have been grieving the loss of their siblings, spouses, parents, grandparents and friends. Things are never going to be normal.
My hope is that since we have all been traumatized by Covid, our society will emerge stronger, more empathetic and compassionate. Right? We know what it feels like, so why pass the pain on? They say that you shouldn't judge until you walk a mile in someone's shoes. Well, now you have. You have experienced the pandemic just like everyone else. You have walked that mile, maybe down a different road, but still. The effect Covid had on you might not be the same it had on your neighbor, but you get the idea. It's time to walk that walk and put all that PD learning & all those buzzwords into practice.
A trauma-informed approach should begin with understanding the physical, social, and emotional impact of trauma on our own individual lives. How can we empathize with others if we aren't authentic and connected to ourselves and our own stories first? Adults that cannot recognize, name, process and regulate their emotions will have a limited impact on the mental health of those they serve. Spoiler: The most vulnerable populations don't dive deeper than "sad" "mad" & "happy" when it comes to feelings. All of us are coming back to society more traumatized. Unfortunately, our most vulnerable populations are the most disadvantaged, they have the least access to services, and their traumas have been compounded for many years.
A trauma-informed culture isn't the hot educational initiative of the year. It's here to stay.
Trauma is not a trend.
"A trauma-informed approach is not a checklist or technique. It requires constant attention, caring awareness, cultural sensitivity and a possible change at the organizational level (CDC)." Being trauma-informed doesn't stop at having the knowledge, it's a continuous effort, self-reflection and lifelong learning. Building relationships and a strong organizational culture is always on the list of priorities, but trust is not built with endless ice breakers, happy hours, and jean days as a reward. That's all superficial. If you don't address the hidden trauma of the adults in the room, you'll be pouring from an empty cup all year long.
When they talk about "putting on your oxygen mask first" they are talking about healing your own trauma first & leading by example in order to help children self-regulate. If you're so anxious that you catch yourself holding your breath all day long, something needs to change. It's not just self-care and drinking more water. You can't fix a universal mental health crisis with a bubble bath.
Trust and transparency needs to be at the forefront of a trauma-sensitive culture. If you're wondering why you can't reach some kids, or why the kids are so "bad" this year, think about what they have witnessed at home and around them before the pandemic. These kids have no choice over their home environments. We, adults do- and we still had a tough time through the shutdown. Imagine being a kid.
Sadly, many of our most vulnerable populations don't trust the adults in their lives to keep them safe, they can't even rely on their parents to have their basic needs met. They don't trust people, and let's not mistake politeness and obedience for trust. The way traumatized children act & react depends on a variety of factors, such as family systems, culture, level of trauma, and current levels of safety. One cannot grow and heal without trust. The least helpful thing a traumatized child needs to hear from a teacher is "It's not like that in the real world. The real world won't be so kind and understanding." They already know that, trust me. How about not normalizing abuse and disappointment?
Therapeutic relationships are the first steps in addressing existing trauma. Everyone, but especially children need consistency & unconditional positive regard. Why are children always so shocked to hear that their grades don't determine their self worth? You can still be a good person and talk over the teacher, or even get an "F", that's possible. Promise.
Teaching a foreign language cannot be done without a safe environment that promotes mistakes, risk taking and being vulnerable. Trauma-sensitive culture is no different. Being trauma-informed means building a safe environment and foundation. It is ensuring all students that they belong, they are safe and will be treated with unconditional respect and positive regard, no matter of the choices and mistakes they make. Kids don't experience that often.
They say that attachment style can change through a therapeutic relationship, or if every kid has a "champion". We've all seen that Rita Pierson Ted Talk about kids not learning from people they don't like & every kid needing that champion. Here's the caveat: kids don't learn from people they don't trust either. Sure, they might "like" you, but how are children expected to trust strangers when they have been taught not to trust the people in their own homes? I mean some of us don't trust the facts or even science, so...
Children from the most vulnerable & abusive households are in constant fight or flight. The trauma they have endured has had a long lasting impact on them and has rewired their bodies and brains, all while convincing them that mistreatement is all normal, expected, and this is the way things are. People being kind, loving, and nice is a rarity in their world. The attachment style and overlooked trauma of our children has a direct impact on their future adult relationships.
Trauma-sensitive culture requires us to recognize the three rules of toxic and abusive environments:
Don't feel
Don't talk
Don't trust
Children who can't rely on adults to keep them safe will fail to trust themselves and the adults around them. Intermittent abuse, lack of consistency and lack of predictability is just as damaging to children as constant abuse. When your surroundings aren't predictable, they aren't safe. Children, as infants, can detect the mood & emotional closeness of the parent holding them just by looking into their eyes.
We never lose that ability.
Children who have experienced neglect, abuse and trauma will be extremely skeptical about building a trusting relationship with anyone, especially their teachers. We all fear rejection, vulnerability, but crave belonging and community at the same time. That potential trust and relationship is the key to a child's academic success & future. When you have been hurt, let down and invalidated by every adult close to you, it takes more than a champion in the school system.
I know we would like to believe that we all had the most inspiring teachers, but when teachers roll their eyes, raise their voices, show their frustration, shame, name call and embarrass students (as jokes, of course), they might as well be screaming, "You can't trust me. I'm like everyone else." Traumatized children don't need to hear the words coming out of your mouth to assess their safety levels, they see your body language which is plenty to set off that "fight or flight" response.
Once you break that trust, a healing relationship is next to impossible.
Trauma-informed settings cannot exist without it.
Trauma responses don't always present themselves in the same way. That eagerness and tendency to people-please is a trauma response. It could be your impeccable upbringing or just the result of conditional love, always being "good"to avoid punishment and not wanting to bother anyone. Maybe you were even the first born? That ultra-independence could very well be a coping strategy, since you can't count on anyone anyway. Trauma responses are the jokes of the class clown who has been taught that humor distracts from the real problem, and it makes it all go away. It is also that kid that will cuss you out and tear your room apart, cause they are scared. They have learned that it's not okay to be scared, cry and ask for help, but it's okay to be angry and "tough". And it is also that kid that won't make eye contact because they are neglected, under socialized and fear adults. Just because a child isn't getting into fights, receiving all "F's" doesn't mean they aren't hurting.
Trauma-sensitive teaching is looking at behaviors, not grades.
Trauma-sensitive teaching doesn't aim to "fix" the child or problem. It is meant to provide a supportive setting where children can have access to unconditional support and regard. A trauma-sensitive culture aims to empower everyone in the setting with peer support, collaboration, choice and voice. Successful trauma-informed teaching requires the adult to self-reflect...
Because how can you teach high school math if you have never learned how to add in elementary school?
How can we expect our students to self-regulate and be aware of their own mental health, if we don't teach and model for them?
How can we hashtag mental health when we struggle to be vulnerable, and our classroom management wavers between yelling and stone walling, depending on the kids' behavior and our moods, of course.
Trauma-sensitive teaching requires us to look within, and sometimes that's not pretty. We cannot address the needs of all of our students if we can't anticipate our own triggers and responses. The job of the adults is to anticipate & be the calm during the storm, not to add to the chaos with extra thunder and lightning.
Trauma-informed culture is the foundation of student wellness. You don't have to achieve world peace in one day, but the baby steps you take can be life saving for someone. Trauma-sensitive teaching is knowing to check in with a student every second Friday, because they always seem anxious before spending the weekend with mom. Trauma-sensitive practices is understanding that flipping the lights on and off is not an effective classroom strategy, and . knowing to warn students that the TV might be a bit loud when it first starts, so they don't startle. Being trauma-aware is knowing to never ever break a promise if you want to keep your credibility. Trauma-informed settings are language-sensitive & aware that name calling, bullying, degrading and "jokes" aren't a way to build culture and community.
Teachers are not counselors, therapists, nor mental health professionals. They are the stepping stone and connection to access of additional supports. Everyone talks about relationship building as the top priority, but those relationships cannot be built without mutual trust.
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