Confessions of THAT parent: My child is flunking 1st grade and I'm totally okay with that.

I have the utmost respect for the parents that have to work remotely, take care of the household, themselves, keep track of their kids' zoom sessions and make sure all homework is completed and turned in all while keeping their sanity.

I just can't.

This Pandemic has knocked us all off our feet & routine, and I've learned that it's totally okay to sacrifice some things to keep our sanity. For our family, that was public school.

Don't get me wrong, we didn't sacrifice their education. Education & a strong work ethic are a priority in our household, and I have the utmost respect for public schools. My kids know their privilege is to study, find their passions, and dream big. 9 year old K already has planned to start working at Hash House, as a server and is picking out his college roommate. 6 year old L is working out the details of his lemonade stand and looking to get a permit for his business as soon as Covid is over.

Juggling it all during the Pandemic is not about time management, setting up that quiet space, or Insta-worthy routine. I am an expert in time management, and I say that proudly. I am used to getting up at 4 a.m, working out, creating that healthy mental space for the day. I'm okay with skipping lunch to send a positive email to a parent or connect with a student. I know how to work full time, run home after work, make your family a gourmet dinner in 5 minutes, out of nothing. I know how much motivation and effort it takes to leave the house after that to go to school full time, Monday thru Thursday, three hours a day. I know the feeling of racing home to hold your babies' hands while you put them to sleep, cause you know they are waiting up for you. I know how to manage my time, but this is on a whole other level. There's no way that I will sacrifice my own mental health, my family's well being in exchange for "semi-normal". And if that's labeled as 'lazy parenting' that's totally okay by me.

Not gonna lie, we tried it all. We made that little quiet space, set our alarms five minutes before their zoom, bribed them, took their electronics away, scolded them, praised them. It was more mentally exhausting on us, as parents, than on the kids. It was also taking a toll on the family dynamic and everyone's stress levels. Why were we micromanaging our kids, doing their homework (I know...) when they have fallen behind? What is that really teaching them? And then, we kinda gave up.

If our kids miss a day or week of assignments, the world is not going to end. I recognize that what my children seek the most in these times is a close and secure connection. In times when everyone's mental health is tanking, we need to take care of each other first, and I will prioritize my kids' wellbeing over academics, any day. My kids don't need another email reminding them how they have missed another assignment and their grade is dropping, and how they are now at the bottom of their class. I could do without the phone calls and added stress as well. What my kids need is support and positive self-talk. That support and positive self-talk starts at home. Let's be honest, in 30 years when my kids tell their children about surviving the Pandemic, the very first thing won't be what they learned in 1st and 4th grade. It will be how they felt, the warmth and coziness of the family home, stories of Diwali dance parties, the walks, learning to cook and bake, and the quality time we spent together. So, as far as I'm concerned, everything else can go on the back burner. My kids' happiness, mental & emotional health comes first.

My children are still learning online, but at their own pace. For us, that is a mental relief. Their private online school is impressive. K will tell you all about the French Revolution and the guillotine. L's vocabulary and reading has skyrocketed, and the improvement in K's handwriting and spelling is immeasurable. But sometimes, they also need a break. And if we have to play catch up on weekends, that's totally okay.

Let's be honest, when I have a 15 minute break during a 3 hour class, I run around making lunch for my kids and husband. When I have a free morning, I'd rather take the kids to the park and on a Starbucks date than sit in front of a computer and stress over counting by 2's. We can count on the way to Starbucks, put your shoes on!

This Pandemic has changed my children, in a good way. They take care of each other and even make each other lunch when their parents are busy. They seek me out during the day to cuddle or tell me, "Love ya, M". They sneak into bed on cold mornings and have become overly attached. They have learned to be expert hand washers, mask wearers, but also experts in teamwork and cooperation. So, do I feel guilty that my kids aren't getting straight A's or barely passing? Maybe just a bit. Do I feel guilty about raising kind, genuine, caring, passionate, emotionally secure little humans that will make this world a better place.

Nope, not at all.

My kids will eventually see their friends, they will go back to "real school", but when they are ready and it is safe. For now, they are exactly where they should be. So remember, "Popcorn is prepared in the same pot, in the same heat, in the same oil and yet... the kernels do not pop at the same time. Don't compare your child to others. Their turn is coming!"